For the home pets. XD

Go down

For the home pets. XD

Post by joeltay17 on Thu 6 Sep - 1:13

To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - pet nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The
other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw
print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it
becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing
in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating
me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I
fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry
about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to
ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when
they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other
stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking
tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to
maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If by
some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not
necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw
under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the
same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years
--canine or feline attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt.
I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our
front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
That's why they call it "fur" niture.
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, they are an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter
who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children!!

_________________
Let our hearts burn with a flame, A fire comsuming all for Your Son's holy name.
In the world, we'll be the different.
The Difference.

avatar
joeltay17
Administrator. Beware. I control. =p.

Number of posts : 2149
Age : 27
Place I Live : Your house.
My Blog : Doesn't really exist.
Love To : Talk with guitars.
Registration date : 2007-01-30

View user profile http://www.friendster.com/joeltay17

Back to top Go down

Re: For the home pets. XD

Post by Jeremy on Thu 6 Sep - 22:25

1. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children!!
So true///
avatar
Jeremy
A b4-you-expire Addict. Cheers.

Number of posts : 761
Age : 26
Place I Live : Somewhere on Earth where God place me
My Blog : http://jermkcf.blogspot.com
Love To : Listen to music,singing,on9,hanging out with frens
Registration date : 2007-02-03

View user profile http://www.friendster.com/35028403

Back to top Go down

Re: For the home pets. XD

Post by joeltay17 on Sun 23 Sep - 23:13

Yea. the best. Very Happy

_________________
Let our hearts burn with a flame, A fire comsuming all for Your Son's holy name.
In the world, we'll be the different.
The Difference.

avatar
joeltay17
Administrator. Beware. I control. =p.

Number of posts : 2149
Age : 27
Place I Live : Your house.
My Blog : Doesn't really exist.
Love To : Talk with guitars.
Registration date : 2007-01-30

View user profile http://www.friendster.com/joeltay17

Back to top Go down

Re: For the home pets. XD

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum